I didn’t know…
I remember my first date with my husband. I didn’t know then how much he would mean to me, how he would help me grow, change, and become the best and happiest version of myself. He told me on that first date that he had type 1 diabetes. He said it like he was concerned it might frighten me off. I didn’t get it at the time. I didn’t know that some people couldn’t handle it or weren’t willing to try. I didn’t know the huge impact this disease had on his life, and even on his future. I didn’t know that it would mean that on some days, a low blood sugar could come out of nowhere and leave him shaking and weak. I didn’t know that on other days, a high could hit and leave him frazzled, wired, itchy, and irritated.
I didn’t know that it would mean that on some days, a low blood sugar could come out of nowhere and leave him shaking and weak.”
I didn’t know that different restaurants and different meals could lead to wildly different estimations in carbohydrates and insulin calculations. I didn’t know about pump malfunctions, cinched tubing, scarred tissue that delayed insulin delivery, or skin irritations to adhesives. I didn’t know about the lack of sleep from having to wake up to calibrate a continuous glucose monitor and pump.I didn’t know all the different alert sounds a pump could make or what they meant. I didn’t know the fear of sleeping through a dangerously low blood sugar in the middle of the night or an alarmingly high one.I didn’t know an unexpected low could result in not being able to drive safely or running late to work or needing to leave early.I didn’t know how expensive the disease was, even with insurance, and the financial burden that it came with. I didn’t know about higher deductibles or ineligibility for decent life insurance. I didn’t know what it meant to live with type 1 diabetes. I didn’t know what it meant to love someone with type 1 diabetes. I didn’t know any of it. Had never even thought about it. But then, I fell in love with the best and most amazing man I’ll ever know. And now I know what it’s like to love someone with type 1 diabetes. I’ll never know what it feels like, or the way it affects every second of his every day. But I know the weight he carries. I know his strength. I know his determination to live his life to the fullest in spite of his disease. I know his kindness when he forgives others for not knowing, for not understanding, and for judging. I get it now…
